Wednesday, September 30, 2020

Slow living with a 1.5 year old



That title sounds a little paradox. Kind of like having a fine china tea party with a Jack Russel Terrier, right? Unrealistic. 

Can it be done anyway? Maybe. 
It depends on your expectations. 

Let's talk about the basics first.

What is slow living anyway?



It is about being mindful and intentional. To me an important part about slow living is not measuring one's worth through productivity. Being busy all the time does not make you better person.

You can (technically) slow down in every area of your life. Every day life at home, at work, while running errands and on vacation. Basically doing what you're already doing but sorting out the stuff which stresses you out and is in actuality not that important to you. 


Read the full blog post here or by clicking the quotes.

Also, have you heard of Hygge?


I'm sure you have. Especially if you use instagram frequently or in the cozy months, you must've come across the #hygge at least. Pictures of people sitting by in cabins, by fire places, wrapping their hands around hot mugs filled with hot chocolate, tea or coffee... Windows with heavy curtains, it's snowing outside... a girl wearing a chunky knit sweater while holding a golden retriever puppy... Okay. You get the idea. It's coziness at its finest. But really, that's not all it is.

Hygge is a Danish word. But what does it really mean?

In his guide to happiness "The little book of hygge" the author Mike Wiking tries to answer that question. He says "Hygge is about an atmosphere and an experience, rather than about things. It is about being with the people you love. A feeling of home. A feeling that we are safe, that we're are shielded from the world and allow ourselves to let our guard down". 

He also adds a story about - what else - spending a weekend in a cabin: "We were all tired after hiking and were half asleep, sitting in a semicircle around the fireplace in the cabin, wearing big sweaters and woolen socks. The only sound you could hear were the stew boiling, the sparks from the fireplace, and someone having a sip of mulled wine." Apparently according to all the Danish Hygge experts in the cabin, this scenario would've only been more hygge, if there was a storm raging outside. 

I feel like what defines Hygge to me mostly is that you deserve a warm, fussy, coziness after you put an effort into something. Could be hiking in the cold, snowy mountains or working an office job or making sure your child was loved, dressed, fed and safe all day. 

French toast with berries and eggs

Slow living is a privilege. 


In my opinion it is. Of course you can have a daily cup of tea or light a candle. And that's a beautiful ritual you should enjoy, if it's your portion of slow living for the day. But to really indulge in slow living, living the hygge lifestyle and me intentional and mindful you also have to have some type of freedom. 

The freedom to make your own schedule, maybe a level of financial freedom (to be able to afford all those mugs and teas and candles, you know) and also freedom within your mind. Being in a state of mind where you can enjoy not being busy is easier said than done.  

We choose the slow life. It doesn't just happen. Or maybe it does. 


Life during a global pandemic can slow down quite a bit. A lot of people work from home these days. This eliminates the very early wake up time to get ready for an office job and the commute. That could mean more time for coffee or tea in the morning, working on the couch with a scented candle burning, a chill playlist humming in the background. Also homemade food and a quick read or sneaky walk around the neighborhood during your lunch break. Sounds chill. Sounds slow. Sounds hygge. At least to me.

If you're an essential worker and this doesn't apply to you, I am sorry and I thank you for your service!
I hope you get to enjoy some slow living on your off days as well.

You don't have to travel to a hidden cabin in the mountains (even though that sounds dreamy) to live slowly. 

Slow living doesn't make life with a toddler easy. Just easier.


Let's get into the whole toddler thing. What do I do? I'm in no way perfect at this. 
That being said, I don't even know if you can be... I try my best to be mindful, after a couple of episodes of despair over this whole 2020 catastrophe of a year! At times I was homesick, felt isolated and sad but I'm trying not to let it get to me as much anymore... 
 
So, yeah... Again: What do I do?
I go with the flow. We are in a position right now, where we don't have a rigid schedule.
Most days we are able to sleep in, make breakfast together and then see what we want to do. 


If you're familiar with child-centered educational approaches, you know that following the child and observing what they're interested in doing at that moment is often related with less fussiness and a less stressful experience for both, the educator and the child. 

We have toy and book stations in our toddler girl's room, as well as in the dining room (while we're still renovating the future playroom).
She often chooses something and just starts to engage with it. Sometimes she will call out "Maaamaaa" for me to read to her or to help her with a puzzle.. or or or.. 
When she doesn't need me I get to get ready for the day, enjoy a coffee, listen to music, engage with my friends through my phone or just watch her.
 




I also kind of dropped a great deal of my former ideas about a scheduled day. Some days we read and do puzzles before breakfast (until one of us gets too hungry) and we move around her one daily nap based on a bunch of factors. 
 
Some of my 1.5 toddler girl's favorite books in fall 2020

We go out on walks around the neighborhood in the stroller or to play dates in parks or on farms. 
When we are in a safe area my little explorer gets to lead the walk and where we're going. As long as it's safe (think streets, water, corona regulations...). When we come home we relax and unwind with a snack, a book, a coffee...
 
 


I will probably forever remember that one day, where we met up with a friend of mine and her daughter for a coffee and a walk, while it was drizzling. It was during the summer, so it was still warm and the rain felt rather refreshing. When we got home that day we took an aromatic bubble bath and hung out in our king-sized bed with books until it was time to make dinner. Didn't get any more hygge or slower than that on that day! 

Of course I have to fit in my daily household duties, but when something doesn't get done, it's okay too. 
Trying to live slowly and enjoy our day together and stressing out completely over a dirty floor don't go together - but I'm still learning. I like having a clean space, so I'm trying to incorporate that into my slow living approach. 

I want to mention that living slowly with a toddler also means taking some time without the toddler.
Luckily my husband is as involved in our daughter's life as he should be, so when he's not working I can enjoy some time by myself. Sometimes. 

I love baking by myself, while listening to a good playlist and just doing my thing. 
I also love being creative, engaging in activities like embroidering and making baby accessories, which include using lots of items a toddler should not play with... I also really enjoy writing a blogpost at night. 
I'm actually drinking a cup of peppermint tea right now, while doing that. And I'm wearing warm socks and a sweater after taking a bubble bath with my daughter a couple of hours ago. 
 
 
Forest animal sugar cookies in the making


What I'm trying to say is, that you should try to enjoy the little things, when you can, I guess.
Like this last sentence, this post is a little bit all over the place, but I hope you caught the vibe.
Let me know what you think. Can't wait to hear from you.

Thanks for visiting my blog, 
Mery


PS: Since we have a Jack Russel Terrier... maybe I should try to have a tea party with her next? ;)

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